Healing Our Authentic Relationship with Money


What is money? What is money for you? What do you associate money with? What does it mean to you? What does your relationship with money reveal about you? 

In this blog post, I’m going to share with you some insights from the materials that we’re currently teaching in our program, The Thriving Circle. These insights will be catalytic, disruptive, healing, awakening, uncomfortable, triggering, and ultimately liberating.




Time to Reclaim Our Relationship With Money

In addition to these insights, I will be sharing with you:

  1. Why it is so crucial to reclaim and heal your relationship with money;

  2. Why this is about so much more than you think; and

  3. Why what’s at stake right now is no less than the state of the world and the planet.

For this reason, it’s time that we reclaim our relationship with money. So, buckle up back and let’s go. 

When I began the journey of healing and reclaiming my authentic and direct relationship with money from Patriarchy Stress Disorder (a.k.a PSD), I was taken through many layers of healing (with many more still to go). But there was a moment during my healing journey, when I got this download: money is everything. 


Dr Valerie Rein.jpg


But what if money is not everything but rather this pure universal energy of creation expressed in density as money?

How sweet is it, how pure is it, and how different is it from what we have been taught about money: that money is the root of all evil?

Stories About Money

These stories about money originated from the oppressive paradigms, which are rooted and have stemmed from the patriarch just like colonialism, racism, and other oppressive systems. These stories about money are the tools of oppression that have ensured that the oppressive paradigms remain in place. These stories about money are the tools of the oppressive paradigms that have distorted not only the pure and original meaning of money but also our original, direct relationship with money

These stories not only live in our minds, but more importantly, they live in our bodies and in our subconscious – our individual and collective subconscious. That is why in trauma healing, and in healing PSD, we work with the body and the subconscious mind to unwind from these stories that are responsible for not only wrecking our individual lives but our society too.

Living The New Story of Money

In healing trauma and PSD, we can invoke new, authentic stories. We can then tap into these new, authentic stories through the body and through the deeper layers of our embodied knowing that guide our relationship with money – our new, direct, authentic relationship with money as the energy of creation expressed in density as money and how we get to steward it and play with it to create a better world.


Relationship with money.jpg


If we’re living the new story of money as the energy of creation expressed in density as money, then how come some people have access to it and some not? Some control it and control other peoples’ access to it? How is that possible in the new story? 

It is not possible. 

But we cannot simply reject the old story and embrace the new one. It won’t work. The unwinding, healing, and reclamation of the new, authentic story must happen in the body and the subconscious mind. It is in the body and the subconscious mind where the trauma lives.

The Mice and The Cherry Blossoms

As you know from my work and from other peoples’ work, there is scientific evidence of intergenerational transmission of trauma. There is a study in my book, Patriarchy Stress Disorder, about the mice and cherry blossoms that really showcases how, for women, our relationship with money has so much trauma around it through the trauma of patriarchal conditioning.


Cherry blossoms.jpg


In this study, researchers introduced the smell of cherry blossoms to mice while simultaneously zapping their feet with mild, electric shocks. The mice were then bred and their children and their grandchildren when exposed to the smell of cherry blossoms, showed a strong fear and anxiety reaction. 

For centuries, for millennia, women could not have access to money. 

It wasn’t until 1960 that a woman could open a bank account in her own name in the United States. It wasn’t until 1988 that a woman got a right to take out a business loan in her own name without a male relative cosigner.

The Trauma Around Not Having Access to Money

The trauma around not having access to money – the energy of creation in the world – for women runs deep. 

Free labor, free women’s labor, that the patriarchy is addicted to, has shaped what women can expect to get on the subconscious level. 

As Resmaa Menakem points out in his book, My Grandmother’s Hands, white bodies and black bodies have racialized trauma. And when we are talking about Patriarchy Stress Disorder, black female bodies and white female bodies and the bodies of women across the intersections of race, social class, sexual orientation, ability, status and other aspects of our embodied identity, we have all experienced trauma differently because we have had different histories – we have different stories woven into our bodies, into our subconscious and into our nervous systems.


Thriving Retreat.jpg


Yet we have something in common: the way trauma works is universal and the healing tools and approaches are universal. 

Although our traumas are different and our stories are different, the embodied experience of trauma that we carry beyond the stories, hold the same imprint: it has not been safe or even possible for women to have their own money. 

When we consider the study of mice and cherry blossoms and the pain of the prohibition of having our own money that has been transmitted generation after generation, we can begin to understand that the urgency of this reclamation is pressing.

Reclaiming Our Relationship with Money

I hope you begin to understand that this reclamation goes a lot deeper than the reclamation of your personal relationship with money:

  • You want to get a better paying job

  • You want to take your business to the next level

  • You need to provide for your family

Where these are all noble and beautiful and immediate goals, trauma healing will help you unwind new possibilities in your life. 

These will go a lot deeper when you reclaim your authentic and direct relationship with money and begin to rewrite the collective story of what money is and what money isn’t.


Dr Valerie.jpg


When we’re living in the new story of the direct and authentic relationship with money as this energy of creation that flows through us,  we get to steward: How can the ideas and practices of supremacy and the fact that some people control other people’s access to resources stand?

That liberation starts within.

The Thriving Experience

In light of the urgency of this reclamation, I wanted to share with you an invitation to The Thriving Experience; a virtual retreat that is free to attend and it is a gathering of women from all over the world on this journey of healing from patriarchy stress disorder. 

My partner, Jeffrey, and I will be facilitating the experience. We will be teaching you the tools to awaken awareness and healing of intergenerational, collective traumas of oppression that have been made possible through patriarchy, colonialism and racism as well as the many layers of disempowerment and lethal imbalances in our world.


Valerie and Jeffrey.jpg


We will be sharing with you the tools that you can start using right away in order to shift from the experience of SURVIVAL- living in the invisible and in the prison of these intergenerational, collective, and personal traumas – to the experience of THRIVING

This shift is created from a place of feeling authentically safe in your body, in your nervous system, your skin, in the world. The experience that unfortunately has been reserved for the privileged few.

Safety Is a Privilege

I do want to say that safety is definitely a privilege and that there are many degrees where even people we think of holding the most privilege in the world, white men, can also have the degree of feeling unsafe. 

However, we are going to focus on women as we know that being a woman in our world has always been an unsafe experience. It’s even more complex, unsafe, and ridden with very concrete and pressing dangers for women of color and indigenous women

All these layers are coming up, acutely and pressingly, to our collective awareness and we have the opportunity to HEAL them now.

Safety is a privilege.png

Unpacking and Healing

So if this is speaking to you, I hope to see you at The Thriving Experience, where we will be experiencing the healing ourselves and sending the ripples into the world. 

The event is coming up on August 14th through the 16th, and the theme this time will be:

Unpacking and healing our direct, authentic relationship with the energy of creation expressed in density as money. 

This will then empower us to embody the change we want to see in the world and in our lives. For more information please go to thethrivingexperience.com.

The Thriving Experience.png

Authentic and Programmed Desires

It is time that we reclaim and heal our direct and authentic relationship with money without the patriarchal, colonial, middlemen meddling with it.

As we reclaim it, we are able to subvert from oppression, first internally and then externally. Every advance in freedom began with the inner freedom leading the way. Our bodies and minds have been in the bondage of oppression through patriarchy, colonialism and racism for too long. So it is time that we heal the damage the bondage has done to our minds, our bodies, our nervous system, and our sense of who we are, so we can unfurl and step into our authentic way of being.

Reclaiming our authentic relationship with money, with the energy of creation expressed in density, is required for us to create a better world designed by our authentic desires, both individually and collectively.

The key difference between authentic and programmed desires:

  • Authentic desires arise from authentic wisdom that is rooted in the universal wisdom and is grounded in our interbeing and interdependence with other humans, the animal world, the planet, and the world outside this planet.

  • Programmed desires are programmed by the oppressive systems that have ruled for millennia. They have central to them the myth of individualism and separateness. Separateness of the mind from the body and separateness of the individual from others. This myth makes possible the ideology of supremacy in the practices of oppression.




Unwinding from inauthentic, programmed desires is a huge part of liberation and creating a better world that is free from oppression and other crimes borne out of the delusion of individualism and separateness.

The World Depends on You

The world depends on you reclaiming your authentic desires. 

The world depends on you reclaiming your authentic relationship with money as the energy of creation expressed in density – the energy that makes possible what you authentically desire, to create or dismantle, and not just in your mind and in your heart but also in reality. 

I hope you join us, an international group of women coming together from all over the world, to witness one another come out of the silos of feeling there is something wrong with them or feeling like they need fixing; coming and witnessing one other’s authentic beauty, authentic powers, and authentic desires; and coming together and getting on this journey of healing and reclaiming our whole being from the bondages of generations and generations of the trauma of oppression. 

It is urgent and I hope you are feeling it. 

How much louder can these calls get? I hope they don’t have to.

 The last thing I want to mention is that the healing is also fun. Yes, it’s intense but it’s also fun. 

Our favorite feedback from our attendees is that it is the most amazing group of women they’ve ever been a part of. This is because we’re shedding the layers of a programmed judgment of ourselves and others as well as programmed identities imprinted upon us by oppressive systems. And what we are uncovering underneath is fuller and deeper and more wholly authentic.




That is what makes us all super amazing. 

So I hope you’ll come and join us at The Thriving Experience. It’s free to attend, from August 14th to the 16th. 

If this speaks to you, please share this invitation with other women you want to share this journey with. 

Thank you so much for being a part of this movement. It is a pleasure to change the world with you.

 Here is to “How good can it get for all?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *