Hi, this is Dr. Valerie. Yesterday I got a message from a woman who said: “I was in a Corona coma for a couple of weeks, couldn’t bring myself to do much.” And this woman runs multi-million business. She is extremely extremely bright, extremely phenomenal in every way. She’s a mom to two beautiful girls and she raised them herself, while raising a business. So she’s done hard things before. And to hear from her, that she found herself in a Corona coma for a couple of weeks was really validating. So I wanted to share that with you today.
And the next thing she said was: “One day I just couldn’t get out of bed at all and what kept me company was your book Patriarchy Stress Disorder and A Course in Miracles.” I love it when Patriarchy Stress Disorder finds herself in great company. And by the end of the day, she had this huge ‘ah ha,’ this huge realization that changed everything for her. And then she was able to recover and spring into action. She’s in this newfound clarity about where she wants to be in life and in her business. She’s taking action steps toward it. She has been revitalized.
I wanted to share this with you today because this may feel like the worst time. The worst time to be doing anything. I shared with you in my previous video, if this not the time when you’re entering a cupcake contest on Instagram or learning Mandarin, it’s okay.
Truly there is so much collective, ancestral, and personal trauma that’s activated right now. It’s keeping us in fight / flight / freeze survival state. And in the state of survival, that’s our prerogative – only focusing on is that I’m staying alive, getting by, getting through the day. And that’s totally fine. That is appropriate. That is appropriate for the current response of the nervous system to this global pandemic, this global crisis.
It’s coming up very powerfully. That state of stress is also fed – as I’ve shared with you in the previous video – by ancestral trauma or inter-generational trauma, because our ancestors have experienced pandemics. They have experienced wars, deprivation, persecution – and now that programming is getting activated in us. Because the nervous system is constantly in the state of hyper-activation. We’re feeling tired.
Sometimes, when we have states like this brilliant woman has described as a Corona coma and trouble getting out of bed, and I also know a lot of people who are going on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication right now so I want to validate this. First of all, that this is all happening and we’re going to use the coping skills or the coping tools that make sense to us. There is nothing wrong with taking medication. It can be life-saving. At the same time, I want to make make it plenty clear that this is a golden opportunity because so much is activated that used to be in our subconscious, unseen. And we used to be tolerating those things. What I’m holding myself back from.
So say what I fear is public speaking or visibility. Or I have a short fuse and my partner drives me crazy. And it’s hard for me to relax and go to sleep without a glass of wine or a pill. And it’s hard for me to be present with my kids. We used to be tolerating those things. So what I work all the time? To numb my pain. And now these things have become intolerable and that’s why people go on medication. Which is a valid route right we all need to cope, using the things that we can use to stay alive, to survive, to make it okay.
The reason I’m calling it a golden opportunity is that these things have truly become intolerable, because they are now fueled by the collective and ancestral traumas. Our personal traumas have been exacerbated like impostor syndrome, the inner critic, and all those things that have been holding you back before. Now they may be louder and more present than ever and your motivation may be lower and your clarity may be more obscure than before. This is the trauma that I call Patriarchy Stress Disorder – that is affecting women. As you know, my book is all about that, but it’s now exacerbated and so these things make this a perfect opportunity for healing.
First of all, the unconscious has become conscious, what used to be tolerable is now intolerable, so we have the things to work with in plain sight if we’re willing to see them and understand that these are not personality flaws and not our shortcomings. It’s something that actually doesn’t have anything or much to do with us. It’s something that’s collective, that’s inherited. And now that it’s in the forefront of our awareness, we can actually work with that.
The total tolerability factor is important because it feeds into our motivation. Okay, it’s intolerable. I can either numb out with Netflix and tequila, or I can work with it. And I can use this time when everything is up to start looking at things and healing. And you can totally pendulate between tequila and Netflix and healing. The pendulum and titrating, this is some of the principles of trauma healing work. Because we need to do it in small doses. So I hope that it’s plenty clear that there is no judgement.
What I’m calling out about opportunity is what I am seeing now in myself. I am actually everyday going to the next level of thriving. That may sound obnoxious – “Why would you want to say that? The world is suffering.” I want to say that because it’s possible. What I’m doing differently is I’m using the tools. I’m using the same tools I teach. I wake up with the heavy load – just like I shared in the previous video – the heavy load of collective and ancestral and my own trauma is activated in my nervous system. I used the tool that I shared in the previous video again to discharge and to shift from survival to thriving. I use the Repower Tool a lot. You can download it. I use a lot of other tools. I’ve been at it for a while so I have a lot in my toolbox.
My breakthroughs are more powerful than they’ve ever been before because the situation is so powerful and so catalytic. And my clients who are going through The Thriving Solution program right now are seeing very similar things. Although many of them have just begun this work – they’re literally a couple of weeks into doing this work – I’m hearing from a client “Oh my gosh, like I had no expectations. I just knew I couldn’t tolerate this anymore. I was on edge all the time with my kids and my husband and my business was stagnant. And now a couple of weeks into it, I can be vulnerable and intimate with my husband. I feel more connected, feel more present with my kids.” Her four-year-old son actually stopped acting out because she is now presenting that pillar of wellness and thriving that he is feeding off off. And she started making sales in her business again. Magic. Because shifting from survival to thriving has massive benefits.
I can liken this unprecedented opportunity to what happens in the stock market. There is this massive panic that we experienced in the beginning of the quarantine. A massive sell-off and that was also an opportunity for those who had the presence of the nervous system. They had the stomach to enter on this massive dip and experience of course the fast results.
That’s exactly what’s happening now with this inner work because we at a massive dip, we’re at a low low. What happens when we’re at a low tide have. Have you been by the ocean during low tide? When the ocean pulls back, it reveals all of the treasures – the sea shells, the rocks, fancy seaweed – that we don’t normally see. That’s what’s happening now. That’s our dip. That’s the low tide. That’s an opportunity to jump in into the game of healing and reclaim these treasures.
And unlike with the stock market where there’s this massive, massive uncertainty and a risk, it’s risky to jump in when everything feels like the sky is falling. (It is legitimately risky. I wasn’t able to do that. I’m working on my own a fear factor there. I’ll keep you posted.) Within this work, the stakes or the possibilities that are or why potential ROI is really high but the risks are really low.
So what I want to share with you is, I’ve been contemplating how to create an opportunity within this opportunity right now for people who have read my book or resonating with my work and with my words right now and will be reading the book. The opportunity for people tocome together and have an experience of shifting from survival to thriving together as a community. Because collective traumas, we heal those in a collective.
I have come up with an idea of a beautiful virtual weekend. I used to hold those live and I will be after this is over. For now, we’re going to come together virtually. The cost of admission is zero dollars. I’m very conscious about who I want to invite to this opportunity. I want to invite everyone who is feeling right now that this is a golden opportunity. This is that dip. If you go there and buy on this dip, you engage with this work at this low tide, the ROI is going to be tremendous. When we come out of this crisis and even before, you’re going to be on a whole new level of thriving.
I’m seeing with my clients right now going through my program. I get reports like: “I have quadrupled my business since starting this work.” I even have to ask again, “Explain to me what exactly did you do.” “I was showing up in this way and I was able to make these invitations and these offers and there was this resonance and a whole other caliber of client was attracted to me because I was showing up on this whole new level.” So that’s what I’m hearing. That’s what I’m seeing.
And reports such as: “Well I am having more intimacy and greater sex with my husband.” That’s a phenomenal outcome. I’m all for it. If we’re going to be locked up together, we might as well have a great time. And if somebody tells me: “You know what, I used to just like be on edge and resent that my kids are home and everybody is home. I’m constantly triggered.” And just for this woman to say, “I’m able to actually play board games with my family and enjoy everyone and have a good time.” These are all phenomenal outcomes.
So if you’re feeling like that’s what I want in my life, I invite you to join me at this event. I will be sending out an official invitation via email. If you’re not on my newsletter list, if you’re not subscribed yet, take this opportunity to do it now. Sign up here where you can download the first chapter of my book for free. Reading the book will be a prerequisite. There is no cost to attend but there is a prerequisite. You need to read my book because I don’t want you to be in the wrong place. If you don’t resonate with the book if you don’t resonate with this work, why would you want to be there? So I want to make sure we’re all on the same page.
Signup if you’re not a subscriber yet and watch your inbox this week. I will be sending out an official invitation to The Thriving Experience. Feel free to share this invitation, this message, this video with those who need it right now. They will thank you later. And I thank you now. Thank you so much for changing the world with me.
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